‘You are not serious people’.
A recent rewatch of HBO’s satirical drama ‘Succession’ coincided with the Dallas Cowboys announcement of Brian Schottenheimer as the new head coach after the farcical departure of Mike McCarthy.
If you have not seen the show, then you have at least seen the GIF of Logan Roy’s frustrated outburst towards his tortured, spoilt and conniving children.
‘You are not serious people’, my first thought on re-hearing this line in the show was to think of Jerry & Stephen Jones.
Headline makers no more?
Usually, the Jones clan do everything possible to keep the Cowboys top of the NFL news cycle.
However, attempting to bury the news of hiring Brian Schottenheimer at 10pm ET the Friday before Conference Championship weekend is a stark admission of the underwhelming appointment they have made.
Aside from the Cowboys there were six other teams that had fired their head coach during or immediately after the 2024 regular season. Brian Schottenheimer was not a name that was in the frame for one of those jobs.
By dragging their feet and trying to re-sign Mike McCarthy to unfavourable terms, the Cowboys actively shut themselves out of being able to speak to the most sought-after candidates of this coaching cycle.
Mike Vrabel had even been hired by the New England Patriots before the Cowboys had announced McCarthy’s departure. The Detroit Lions vaunted co-coordinators landed with the Bears and Jets. Meanwhile the Cowboys were left scratching around for candidates.
A speculative link to former player and current Colorado head coach Deion Sanders made headlines, while the Cowboys interviewed Robert Saleh, Lezlie Fraizer and former offensive coordinator Kellen Moore. But it was Schottenheimer that the Cowboys settled for.
A chip off the old block?
Schottenheimer has 25 years of experience coaching in the NFL and is the son of legendary coach Marty Schottenheimer.
This experience and heritage is what Jerry & Stephen Jones are hanging their hat on.
A hire that they are familiar with and can try and spin as a shrewd move that nobody else had the vision for. A coach they can control and that will not challenge their authority. A head coach that will tow the line.
I have no ill-will towards Brian Schottenheimer, but this role is far too big for him. If there was an obvious candidate to be a ‘one & done’ head coach in the NFL, then it is him.
In four previous stints as an offensive coordinator in the NFL, Schottenheimer has hardly pulled up any trees. He was not even calling plays for the Cowboys with head coach Mike McCarthy fulfilling that role.
Descending into irrelevancy
This is the best the Dallas Cowboys could get; the lure of the star has diminished to such a point that it was the least attractive head coach opening in the NFL.
That is not down to the players, the facilities, the market or the fans.
It is down to the family that have and will continue to have a strangle hold over ‘America’s Team’.
I could not sum this up better than in the introductory press conference. CEO Stephen Jones implied that the almost 30-year period since a Conference Championship appearance is a narrative driven by the media.
The leadership of the Cowboys have got to the point where they are denying the facts that are staring them in the face.
I would love to say this is unexpected or a strange turn of events. But sadly, for the once great Dallas Cowboys, it is par for the course.
Of course, I wish Brian Schottenheimer the best of luck and would love to be writing articles through next season to say he has proved me wrong.
However, we all know how this is going to go. I will be writing articles in 12 months about another circus of a head coach search.
